Enthralled
by jenamy
Summary: You're more than anyone could ask for. You're intelligent, you're beautiful, you're graceful, you're humorous; you're everything I've always wanted. D/H INCOMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing, characters belong to JKR.

* * *

I was always enthralled by the night, whether it be from the stars or the moon—it always called to me. Growing up, I was told the stars were the remnants of loved ones that had passed on; I refused to believe such a thing. She was gone and there was no bringing her back. She was the one who got me started on looking to the night for comfort, not just my mere fascination.

I had always escaped the confines of the dungeons to the Astronomy Tower. No one wanted to associate with me anymore, not after what happened to her; they all thought they'd meet the same fate. They didn't understand—nor did they try. She did the one thing no one was supposed to do—she loved me. I quietly opened the door; perhaps there were lingering couples just on the other side.

I scanned the terrace—alone. How I would always be. I left the door ajar, just slightly; I'd shut it once and ended up spending the entire night on the terrace. Tonight was a waxing crescent. I searched out my own constellation, a small smile graced my face in the briefest of moments when I found it. I let the cool breeze dance through my hair, causing my cloak to swirl around my legs. I glanced around the school grounds, the shadows that danced along the surfaces, and the creatures that ventured out of the forest in the dead of night, the sounds of the sleeping world.

_You're more than anyone could ask for. You're intelligent, you're beautiful, you're graceful, you're humorous; you're everything I've always wanted. _Those words were always whispered to me as her fingers ran through my hair as we would drift off to sleep. I felt that familiar sting in my eyes as my vision blurred, making way for the tears that only ever fell in the depths of night.

My whimpers and choked sobs were the only sounds to break the silent night. I lay my head back against the pillar I was resting against, allowing my gaze to take in the form of the moon. She was my moon; I was her _sun_. I gave light to her days; I was what kept her going. It was also my fault that she was gone. I moved, burying my head in my hands, tugging at my hair, trying to ease this constant pain and overwhelming sense of sorrow.

She loved me and I loved her, more than anything I loved her. I hadn't always loved her; I had hated her once upon a time. To be fair, she had hated me too. Loathed my very existence. For years I was nothing but a familiar face in her world, someone she could avoid if she tried—she did, and did it well. I never went out of my either, but if our paths did cross, I'd merely nod in her direction.

The wind danced around me again, almost in a cocoon of her love. Strands of hair danced across my face as if it were the loving touch of her fingers. I let my eyes close as the last few tears fell down my cheeks and the wind danced around me; she was telling me goodnight. When everything stilled I brought the end of my sleeve to wipe away my tear tracks when I heard a soft gasp.


	2. Chapter 2

My eyes immediately ventured towards the door, I saw no one, but I had heard someone else take a quick breath. I strained my ears, listening for any indication that someone else was there with me; wishful thinking begged it to be her. I knew it wasn't her, she was gone forever. I reached into my robes and pulling out a worn scroll of parchment. It was now folded and crumpled in so many ways you'd never believe someone such as I would be holding onto it. It was the last thing she ever gave me.

I gave a sad smile towards the crumpled drawing in my hands—it was drawing of us. Her arms around my shoulders, an actual smile on my face and the pure joy that only I could give to her danced across her features. I was angry that such a beautiful woman was killed and it was my entire fault. If I wasn't so selfish and so careless she'd still be here—or so I tell myself. I deserve the guilt that eats away at me like maggots do to a deceased carcass.

I heard a breath, this time it was closer—someone was with me. Invading my private moment, witnessing my emotions. I muttered a spell and a body fell to the ground. I merely saw bits of body parts, as if it were covered by something. I muttered the finite and yet they refused to move. I let out a growl of frustration and climbed to my feet. I couldn't bring myself to uncover who had just witness a moment of my weakness.

I gave the visible leg a hard kick and I heard them groan in response. I merely sneered down at them and walked towards the door, slamming it behind me for good measure. They'd be stuck there till the morning when the doors were charmed to unlock. I made my way down to the dungeons, silently. When I made it to the dorms I shared with only two other returning students, I went to the wash room.

I glanced at the reflection I had in the mirror. What had happened to me? The disheveled boy staring back at me, sorrow and guilt shined dominant in his eyes. His hair was a mess, a tangled mess. His washed out features, the only thing to stand out where his gray eyes—beacons to his soul. I reached out to place my palm against my reflection, touching the only person who spent time with me. Even then it wasn't always willingly.

I splashed my face with cold water and brushed my teeth before I changed into my nightclothes and climbed into bed. Sleep would not come to me tonight—it hardly ever did anymore. If it did, it was plagued with nightmares—of her final moments. No one should've died that way—I begged for her death, to kill her faster; she shouldn't have had to suffer. Not like that.

Every time I closed my eyes it was her tear and pain stricken face. The pools of blood that seemed to grow, making me wonder how much blood a body could actually hold. Her screams and pleas for me to get away, to leave her alone—she wanted to save me. She _died_ so that _I_ could live. I didn't want this life though—without her I was nothing. I'd never forgive myself for this and I know I couldn't ever forget either. Trying to do so was futile.


	3. Chapter 3

I felt a strong hand on my shoulder, shaking me awake—I had fallen asleep then. I glanced at the hand touching, followed the arm and up to the concerned face of the only person to show civility towards me. As soon as he noticed I was awake he stepped away and left me alone. I glanced at the clock on the farthest wall; I had thirty minutes left before my first lesson.

I stretched before climbing out of bed and changing into my uniform. My tailored trousers, my expensive shoes, the shirts that had my name embroidered on the underside of the collar—reminding me of _exactly_ whose son I was. I grabbed my bag and made my way up to the Hall for breakfast. I walked slowly, hoping that by the time I arrived most students would've already have left.

I entered the open doors, the chattering quieted as I entered and made my way towards the end of the long table that marked my house. I could feel the harsh stares directed at me, each and every one a slow and painful death—if looks could kill that is. I knew I didn't belong here, in these halls, with these people. The whole hall went silent as one person entered the Hall.

_Potter_. The world revolved around him even more now that he had fulfilled his prophecy. His gaze was the only one on me not to wish harm, but his was far worse. His gaze was full of pity. I hated it. He was in debt to _her_ and yet she's still _gone_. He's tried to speak to me—does he not realize I want to be left alone?

I did not need his hero complex to save me. I was beyond that notion. I didn't deserve it; even if he thinks I so adamantly do. I quickly finished my breakfast and headed to Arithmancy—Ravenclaw's and Granger, an easy period. I sat at the last table, to myself, as I watched my peers come in and talk amongst themselves as we all awaited the arrival of the professor.

I felt a presence next to me and I watched as someone unpacked their belongings on the table next to me. I knew those hands—I despised those hands. I merely glanced at her before turning towards the front of the room. I heard her take a small breath, but luck was on my side, our professor had just entered the room. He spared a glance at the pair of us sitting together—it rarely ever happened—and continued on with the lesson.

Class was dismissed slightly early and I knew, _I knew_ she would try to speak to me. I felt that small hand place itself on that spot on my arm she always touched. I never looked at her, I couldn't. Of the three of them, she would be the one to break down my barrier that I had so craftily placed. Today though, today she said six words that caused me to look her in the eye; _I've a letter from your mother._


	4. Chapter 4

She gave me a small, sad smile as she reached for my arm. She clasped her hand to my arm and led me out of the room and down the hall. She peered into another classroom and then glanced down the hall in both directions before gently pulling me inside.

"Sit. It's not an order, more of a harsh request. I'm not going to put up with your antics so don't even think about trying anything on me."

She stood in front of me, hand on her hip, an eyebrow raised and sheer determination in her eyes—you'd be a fool to cross her. I merely nodded and sat atop the table closest to me.

"She never blamed you. She knew what was going to happen. She was proud to have met the end that she did. She died for the only person she ever loved."

I could see a sheen of tears in her eyes as she spoke to me in a tone so gentle; it must be a woman thing, having such soft voices at times. I fidgeted with my hands—nervous habit.

"Do you honestly think she wants to see you like this? All morose and afraid to live?"

I hardened my stare at her.

"I am not afraid to live."

She merely smirked at me; her gentle side was gone now. She had touched a nerve—exactly what she had wanted.

"I am not a project, Granger. Don't even think of it."

She laughed, laughed a bitter laugh in my face.

"I don't see you as one, Malfoy, merely a person who has a rather massive dispute with life. You're not the only person to lose a parent, a loved one. I haven't seen my parents in two years; I'm not even sure if they're still alive. Or if they want anything to do with me, their memories were restored so they know what I did to them. But that's besides the point, I'm not here for me, I'm here for you."

She was not going to get through my barriers; they were there for a reason.

"I don't want your pity."

"You never had it."

That stung more than it should have.

"What do you want then?"

She smiled a genuine smile. One she offered to Weasley and Potter.

"Your mother asked me to do something for her, a last request if you will."

"You never knew my mother, why would she ask you of all people to fulfill a last request?"

I could feel my chest tightening—I couldn't break down in front of her, I just couldn't. She took a step closer to me, her hand reaching out towards my face, a gentle caress to my cheek.

"She had someone trail me one summer. She was intrigued how such a young girl, with muggle parents, could be so talented, so intelligent. Her interest changed when she gained knowledge of how I treated Harry and Ron. She was fascinated in the relationship the three of us held. She wrote to me, quite a lot actually."

I let out a choked gasp.

"She, she told me she cared a great deal about you and that she knew, she knew what was to come. She wanted someone on the other side to care for you. Severus, he can only do so much. They made an Unbreakable Vow to protect you. She knew the pride your father held and passed on to you would hinder both of you. She also knew you wanted no part in the war, she didn't want you to have a part either."

She climbed atop the table across from me.

"What did she ask you to do?"

She smiled again.

"You have her patience."

I couldn't help the small twitch of my lips, an almost smile.

"She wants me to care for you, look after you. I've tried all semester to approach you, yet you let no one near you. No one deserves to be that lonely, no one."

"Why would she ask that of you? She knew our history, she knew who you were."

She merely rolled her eyes, most often how she did with her two friends.

"Honestly, she loved you, she still loves you, she wants you to be happy. You deserve to be happy."

"What do you have to do with my being happy?"

She hopped down and stared at me. She walked over to the door and glanced back at me.

"I know what your mother saw in you, she wants me to help you see it too. I'm going to lunch; do you want to sit with me? No one will question it; no one will hurt you either. You don't even have to speak."

I merely nodded and got up to follow her. She didn't speak to me on the walk down to the Great Hall, merely a companionable silence. She walked with an air of self-assurance. I glanced ahead of her to the two men who mattered most to her. Blue hardened as they took in my appearance at her side while green, those green eyes merely stared. Weasley merely continued to eat as Granger and I sat down. Potter offered her a smile—it didn't reach his eyes.

Granger began to prattle about her day, leaving out why I was with her, though when Weasley questioned it she merely glared at him and he backed down. Potter said nothing, barely eating, just merely existing. His eyes would glance up to me every now and then, he'd offer a small smile or an empty laugh as his friends would joke about things. A set of black robes appeared behind him. Severus bent down and whispered something in Potter's ear and left after Potter gave him a small nod. He left not too long after that.


	5. Chapter 5

"Don't even think about it."

She hadn't even removed her eyes from the tome she was studying as she brought small bites of food to her mouth. Her lips twitched into a small smirk and for the first time I felt myself almost blush. I finished picking at my breakfast.

"What are you doing here?"

I glanced up at Longbottom who sat directly across from me.

"He's sitting with me."

I noticed he glanced between the two of us before shrugging and digging in to his lunch. I happened to glance around and noticed a lot more eyes on Granger and I. Oh bloody hell, they were going to get the wrong impression.

"How's your year been Malfoy?"

I choked on the bit of food in my mouth, not expecting anyone to willingly converse—well except for Granger—with me. I swallowed the food and took a drink of juice before glancing up at Longbottom.

"Sorry, I have bad timing when asking questions."

I merely stared at him.

"It's been rather _dull_."

He raised his eyebrows.

"That's not what I've heard, granted most of what gets spread around is rubbish anyway, but still. Your house mates don't treat you all too kindly, not that they're a kindly lot in the first place, well no offense."

I shrugged, we didn't care for friendships, merely acquaintances.

"I'm none too bothered about the on goings of my house mates Longbottom, I could care _less _about the rumors that are spread about me. If you've got a question about anything, merely _ask_ and I shall choose whether or not to answer. I don't take to drawn out conversations."

He glanced at Granger then back at me.

"I'm sorry about your mother."

I looked at him once more, sincerity rolled off of him in waves. I felt Granger tense beside me as her knuckles turned a shade lighter as she grasped the tome in front of her.

"I am too."

Granger let out the breath she had been holding in. Longbottom merely looked ashamed, as if he shouldn't have offered his sympathy. Inside I was grateful that someone else offered sympathy at her loss in my life. I felt my chest tighten once again—I needed to leave.

"If you'll excuse me, I must gather the books I need for my afternoon classes."

I stood, ignoring Granger's quiet protest and left the Hall. I raced towards the dungeons, slowing when I heard voices coming from the Potions classroom.

"…utterly useless, you know that?"

"Well perhaps if you'd just—"

"If I _what_, exactly?"

I glanced in, Potter was sitting atop a desk as Severus added something to the cauldron to Potter's left. There was a small smile tugging at Severus' lips.

"If you just pull your hair back a little, possibly add some color to your wardrobe..."

A small laugh escaped Severus as Potter reached out and pushed Severus' hair back and away from his face.

"It's called compromise. Equal duty in a relationship, if I'm to do something, I expect something in return."

He smirked as he stood directly in front of Potter, the gaze he was giving was intense. For some reason I felt a pang of jealousy course through me. Whether it be because Severus was that close to Potter or Potter was making Severus smile, I couldn't tell you.


End file.
